Because at this point, booze may be the only way to get through the rest of this book.
One Drink:
- "Oh my"
- "Double Crap"
- "Mighty _____," particularly "mighty fine." (Who even says this?)
- Christian's "long fingers" are mentioned
- "My subconscious."
- someone gasps (no seriously you will be amazed by how often this happens)
- absurd product placement (cars, tea, computers, etc. mentioned in excessive brand detail)
- Ana "flushes" or "blushes"
- Grey's pants hang "in that way"
- gift-giving disproportionate to the relationship
- unnecessary lists of three (one adjective or metaphor is more than sufficient most of the time, E.L. James)
- Ana refers to her roommate by her full name, Katherine Kavanagh, rather than simply "Kate."
- Ana is painfully ignorant to the point that you have to forcefully suspend your disbelief
- "Inner goddess"
- "Laters, ____."
- Grey does something so pretentious/ridiculous you have to stop reading to laugh.
- You are actively offended.
- Unnecessary ellipse ("…")
- Someone refers to sex as "doing it."
- Someone refers to a part of the anatomy ambiguously as "…there."
- A sexual act feels non-consensual to you.
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