Originally, it was written experimentally in first person, each chapter switching between the perspective of 6 different characters: an idea I got from The Poisonwood Bible, one of the best books I read during all of high school. I still love Poisonwood, but for various reasons, I have begun to discover that in spite of my tendencies to begin novels in the first person, I really prefer 3rd person. It is less constricting and there are so many more options. What can I say? I probably have a God complex and like to feel like I know everything going on in my characters' universe. Anyway, while transferring the written manuscript to a typed one on my computer, I have been translating everything into third person, while also adding scenes, completely uprooting the setting, and changing the genre. It's possibly the most dramatic upheaval I've ever given a previous project, but I feel like this one is worth it. The characters, if I do say so myself, are amazing. If they were real, I would want to be friends with them.
Who are they? An assortment of (wait for it) lifeguards working at a country club. Once upon a time, I was going to set the book at a YMCA, but for a number of reasons, first and foremost at least one rather seedy character whom I wouldn't want people to associate with an organization I love so much, I decided against this. Also, by making up a fictional setting, I gave myself far more creative liberties. That said, the pool in the book is identical in structure to the one at the Schilling Farms YMCA where I first began lifeguarding. I can't help it. Every time I tried to envision it, that was what kept cropping up. The pool wanted to be like the one at Schilling. That said, it is the only character in the book based on someone in real life.
Oh yes, the pool is its own character. It has a personality.
Anyway, I had told a few people about this project, and a few people have been asking me about this project, so I decided, while I'm trying to get my creative juices flowing again, I thought I'd post a few of my favorite passages I've come so far.
Please bear in mind, this is all a very rough draft. This book isn't finished, and it's going to go through a lot more editing long after it final gets an ending. Also, I'll keep the excerpts brief. I trust my friends, but it is the internet, and one hears so many sad stories about plagiarism.
Without further ado:
Chlorine
by Rachel Krueger
by Rachel Krueger
1. A brief background on the pool itself.
"Tony stood hidden behind an oak tree, clutching his chest in pain, and the man who had never cried a day in his life, shed two agonized tears. They fell to the ground and mingled with the roots of the oak tree, and that oak tree has never forgotten Tony Porter.
[…] The Mulder Country Club carried on just fine. A few decades passed and an indoor and outdoor swimming pool were built, although there was a small miscalculation when building the outdoor pool. They dug a bit too close to a particular oak tree, and cut a few of its roots. There was fear that the oak tree might die, but it struggled through hardily. Construction workers warned that if the roots continued to grow in this direction, though, it would seriously damage the cement poured to build the pool.
But the odd thing was that that never happened. No one ever questioned it; they just assumed they had gotten lucky. What no one knows, except maybe Grace—because no one knows that pool quite like Grace—is that the oak tree still remembers those two tears even today, the sorrow and sadness mingled into its heartwood. How could it ever forget such sorrow? It loves people, after all, and the pool brings it joy, all those happy sounds of laughter and screams of delight. The oak mingled a few roots into the groundwork of the pool, surrounding every inch that it could reach. And every day Grace notices subtle changes in the pool that no one else seems to be in tune to. Fountains will be facing different directions. The deep-end has a different slope to it. And wasn’t the shallow end wider yesterday? Some days she notices that old oak tree almost seems to be leaning over the rod-iron fence surrounding the pool, a branch or two reaching out in a way that is so life-like she has to blink twice to be certain she hasn’t imagined it. The tree is usually in a cheerful mood, although on certain days, she notices that the happiness is strained, or that it has sunk into a bit of melancholy. The water often shares its mood, though how she knows that is more difficult to explain. Something about the way it ripples or gets choppy or whether the water level has risen or sunken. She keeps these things to herself, of course. Because after all, who would believe her if she said she’d actually known the water to spit a drowning toddler into her arms?"
2. Tina and Greg, a couple rookie lifeguards. [Greg refers to Grace as 'Blondie.']
"[…] But poor Tina. Greg could see the guilt and misery written all over her face. He kept hearing Coldplay in his head every time he looked at her. Grace had put her on cleaning duty for the rest of her shift, which Tina probably viewed as some sort of punishment. She hated cleaning of any kind. Grace knew better, though. There was nothing more cathartic than a little manual labor. Scrub your sins away, y’know? So really, even if Tina thought she was being punished, it would still make her feel better. It was a way of doing penance, paying for her mistake.
[…] Greg wondered for the millionth time why Tina stuck with this job. She’d made no secret of the fact that she hated it. It occurred to Greg for the first time that perhaps Tina’s parents were forcing her to keep a summer job. It wasn’t exactly an unconventional idea.
A smile played at the corner of his mouth as he watched her now. She was like some sort of disgruntled Cinderella, tossing Comet on the tiles around the pool and scrubbing them until her knuckles turned white.
Eventually she felt his eyes on her and looked up, meeting Greg’s gaze with defiance. 'What?'
He frowned at her. 'What are you doing?' he asked.
She rolled her eyes and went back to scrubbing. 'What does it look like?' she muttered. He could tell that she was secretly embarrassed, wondering what everyone else thought of her after the incident that afternoon. Tina had always been concerned with what others thought of her.
'I meant why are you working here?'
She spared him a vicious glare.
'Just curious. You know, whatever you’re thinking, Blondie doesn’t think you’re worthless. Yeah, she would have stood up for anyone. But she also would have had you working way fewer hours or even fired you by now if she didn’t think you were worth her time.'
She was quiet for a moment. Then, 'I started working here because my parents threatened to take away my car. Now I come because it means getting out of the house and away from Mother.' She didn’t look at him, and he didn’t expect her to.
She was human after all. "
3. Grace Porter, a seasoned lifeguard in her 20s, reflecting on her romantic life. Grace's family is very unusual. Her great aunt has a sixth sense for other people's food cravings and can't sit still until she's provided that food, be it a pop tart or escargot. Grace's twin brother can see people's souls or characters in their shadows. Grace, to her dismay, has a more public "curse," her fingernails and toenails were born changing colors. Each change of color reflects a change in her emotion. Finally, none of the women in Grace's family have ever left their hometown, Mulder.
"Grace laid herself out on the dock. She liked her Aunt Miranda's corner of the lake better than the Bright's lake house. The Brights had a beautiful view, but the small bay that her great aunt lived on was so peaceful and undisturbed. When Grace was a little girl, she used to think the spot was enchanted with its perfectly smooth water mirroring the Heavens. At night, it reflected the stars, creating a sea of fairy lights.
This evening Grace knew there would be very few stars out. The sky was overcast, almost solid white all day, and now slowly turning a smoky, dusty pink as the sun dipped lower, wetting its toes in the lake.
She glanced at her fingernails, trying to figure out how she felt. They were the same color they'd been all day: a strange, iridescent mother-of-pearl like the inside of an oyster. It wasn't particularly attractive. She also had no idea what it meant, but she supposed she must be happy. This was good, after all. She'd always liked Bobby, and she'd known for some time that his feelings for her went well beyond friendship. She wasn't sure that Bobby was what she wanted; romantically speaking, every girl grew up with some unrealistic ideals about the sort of man she'd like to be with one day. But just like we fantasize about being swept away by pirates, of riding off to become cowboys and girls, or of running away on the backs of motorcycles, our dreams aren't always what's good for us. Like how badly Grace wanted to leave Mulder, for instance. She knew it would kill her if she did. As a girl, she used to sneak out at night and walk all the way to the edge of town, right to Mulder's boundaries. She'd been able to feel the curse boiling in her blood, making her head spin as she struggled not to vomit or collapse. She always ended up throwing herself back, gasping uncontrollably for Mulder's life-giving air. It had become clear enough early on that the outside world would kill her. Mulder was a safe-haven, her protection from drowning.
And that was Bobby, too. He was her safe-place. He was good and strong and he would always love her. He might not be what she thought she wanted, but he was what was good for her."
[…] The Mulder Country Club carried on just fine. A few decades passed and an indoor and outdoor swimming pool were built, although there was a small miscalculation when building the outdoor pool. They dug a bit too close to a particular oak tree, and cut a few of its roots. There was fear that the oak tree might die, but it struggled through hardily. Construction workers warned that if the roots continued to grow in this direction, though, it would seriously damage the cement poured to build the pool.
But the odd thing was that that never happened. No one ever questioned it; they just assumed they had gotten lucky. What no one knows, except maybe Grace—because no one knows that pool quite like Grace—is that the oak tree still remembers those two tears even today, the sorrow and sadness mingled into its heartwood. How could it ever forget such sorrow? It loves people, after all, and the pool brings it joy, all those happy sounds of laughter and screams of delight. The oak mingled a few roots into the groundwork of the pool, surrounding every inch that it could reach. And every day Grace notices subtle changes in the pool that no one else seems to be in tune to. Fountains will be facing different directions. The deep-end has a different slope to it. And wasn’t the shallow end wider yesterday? Some days she notices that old oak tree almost seems to be leaning over the rod-iron fence surrounding the pool, a branch or two reaching out in a way that is so life-like she has to blink twice to be certain she hasn’t imagined it. The tree is usually in a cheerful mood, although on certain days, she notices that the happiness is strained, or that it has sunk into a bit of melancholy. The water often shares its mood, though how she knows that is more difficult to explain. Something about the way it ripples or gets choppy or whether the water level has risen or sunken. She keeps these things to herself, of course. Because after all, who would believe her if she said she’d actually known the water to spit a drowning toddler into her arms?"
2. Tina and Greg, a couple rookie lifeguards. [Greg refers to Grace as 'Blondie.']
"[…] But poor Tina. Greg could see the guilt and misery written all over her face. He kept hearing Coldplay in his head every time he looked at her. Grace had put her on cleaning duty for the rest of her shift, which Tina probably viewed as some sort of punishment. She hated cleaning of any kind. Grace knew better, though. There was nothing more cathartic than a little manual labor. Scrub your sins away, y’know? So really, even if Tina thought she was being punished, it would still make her feel better. It was a way of doing penance, paying for her mistake.
[…] Greg wondered for the millionth time why Tina stuck with this job. She’d made no secret of the fact that she hated it. It occurred to Greg for the first time that perhaps Tina’s parents were forcing her to keep a summer job. It wasn’t exactly an unconventional idea.
A smile played at the corner of his mouth as he watched her now. She was like some sort of disgruntled Cinderella, tossing Comet on the tiles around the pool and scrubbing them until her knuckles turned white.
Eventually she felt his eyes on her and looked up, meeting Greg’s gaze with defiance. 'What?'
He frowned at her. 'What are you doing?' he asked.
She rolled her eyes and went back to scrubbing. 'What does it look like?' she muttered. He could tell that she was secretly embarrassed, wondering what everyone else thought of her after the incident that afternoon. Tina had always been concerned with what others thought of her.
'I meant why are you working here?'
She spared him a vicious glare.
'Just curious. You know, whatever you’re thinking, Blondie doesn’t think you’re worthless. Yeah, she would have stood up for anyone. But she also would have had you working way fewer hours or even fired you by now if she didn’t think you were worth her time.'
She was quiet for a moment. Then, 'I started working here because my parents threatened to take away my car. Now I come because it means getting out of the house and away from Mother.' She didn’t look at him, and he didn’t expect her to.
She was human after all. "
3. Grace Porter, a seasoned lifeguard in her 20s, reflecting on her romantic life. Grace's family is very unusual. Her great aunt has a sixth sense for other people's food cravings and can't sit still until she's provided that food, be it a pop tart or escargot. Grace's twin brother can see people's souls or characters in their shadows. Grace, to her dismay, has a more public "curse," her fingernails and toenails were born changing colors. Each change of color reflects a change in her emotion. Finally, none of the women in Grace's family have ever left their hometown, Mulder.
"Grace laid herself out on the dock. She liked her Aunt Miranda's corner of the lake better than the Bright's lake house. The Brights had a beautiful view, but the small bay that her great aunt lived on was so peaceful and undisturbed. When Grace was a little girl, she used to think the spot was enchanted with its perfectly smooth water mirroring the Heavens. At night, it reflected the stars, creating a sea of fairy lights.
This evening Grace knew there would be very few stars out. The sky was overcast, almost solid white all day, and now slowly turning a smoky, dusty pink as the sun dipped lower, wetting its toes in the lake.
She glanced at her fingernails, trying to figure out how she felt. They were the same color they'd been all day: a strange, iridescent mother-of-pearl like the inside of an oyster. It wasn't particularly attractive. She also had no idea what it meant, but she supposed she must be happy. This was good, after all. She'd always liked Bobby, and she'd known for some time that his feelings for her went well beyond friendship. She wasn't sure that Bobby was what she wanted; romantically speaking, every girl grew up with some unrealistic ideals about the sort of man she'd like to be with one day. But just like we fantasize about being swept away by pirates, of riding off to become cowboys and girls, or of running away on the backs of motorcycles, our dreams aren't always what's good for us. Like how badly Grace wanted to leave Mulder, for instance. She knew it would kill her if she did. As a girl, she used to sneak out at night and walk all the way to the edge of town, right to Mulder's boundaries. She'd been able to feel the curse boiling in her blood, making her head spin as she struggled not to vomit or collapse. She always ended up throwing herself back, gasping uncontrollably for Mulder's life-giving air. It had become clear enough early on that the outside world would kill her. Mulder was a safe-haven, her protection from drowning.
And that was Bobby, too. He was her safe-place. He was good and strong and he would always love her. He might not be what she thought she wanted, but he was what was good for her."
Coolness! So glad you shared this :-)
ReplyDeleteQuestions:
1) What do you mean the pool IS a character? Do you mean that implicitly or explicitly? I guess what I'm asking about is the difference from say the city being a character in The Great Gatsby to something more magic realism--the pool actually acts and/or communicates.
2) Is it mean to be a novel with one continuous plot or more of a series of vignettes about the same characters?
3) Lastly, why a country club? I can understand not actually using the Y (I've gone back and forth over this in my own stories), but country clubs are so different from organizations like the Y. Do you have experience with country clubs?
But I think it's great, and it makes me want to get back to work on my own stories, which I always saw as a series of vignettes.
:) Thanks.
Delete1.) Mostly, I mean this in a magical realism sense. While it is not what I'd call a "main character," the pool acts of its own accord, like spitting the drowning child out of the water, changing its layout, etc. Changing the novel to a magical realism genre is one of the biggest changes that I've been making in the rework, and honestly I'm still deciding how much and in what ways that will come into play, but the moment I thought of the pool as a free-thinking entity, I knew it was the right choice.
2.) This is a complicated question. Even with the original style of perspective swapping between characters, I would have said and still say a continuous plot. But because there are at least 6 main characters whose individual stories are, in my opinion, equally important on their own virtue, the plot is sort of sprawled out. All the stories overlap and intertwine, but they are their own entities as well.
3.) Yes, again, this was a change I have made in the rework, going from a YMCA to a fictional country club. I do have *some* experience working at a country club, though not as much as the Y, and I have been flipping back and forth on whether or not this is the right choice. On the one hand, I felt like being a country club opened up a lot of options as far as characters and events and other things I could tie in, and it also made sense with the history of the pool that I recently created. However, like you said, it is a very different kind of organization from the Y, and I haven't decided if I am going to keep this change or not. Ultimately, while it makes for an intriguing setting, it might not work for the characters that I've written.
And thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'd really love to read your vignettes. I bet they would be very interesting!