Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Deadly Donuts and Peter Pan

My hobbies: Convincing the natives that I actually speak Spanish/Portuguese even though I have absolutely no idea what's going on.  My wakeup call for instance:

"Buenas Días!  Jibberish gobbledegook speaking speako thingo tu no understando."

"Buenas Días."

"Furthero wakeo up-o call-o Señorita somethingo somethingo."

"Sí.  Gracias."

And then they say something else, and I just keep saying "Sí.  Gracias," until it seems appropriate to say "Muchos gracias.  Adíos," and hang up.  The only time I *don't* try this?  When it involves food.  I learned my lesson after the Great Whole-Wheat Donut Debaucle of '14.  For the record, although I was hoping that perhaps "Glaseado Integral Con Amaranto" meant some sort of glazed amaretto donut, it does, in fact, mean glazed with whole wheat (er…technically the Amaranto [or Amaranth] plant is some sort of weed, and they put the ground up seeds in their whole wheat flour).  -shudders-  Never again.