Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Fifty Shades of Grey Drinking Game

Fifty Shades of Grey: The Drinking Game

Because at this point, booze may be the only way to get through the rest of this book.

One Drink:
  • "Oh my"
  • "Double Crap"
  • "Mighty _____," particularly "mighty fine."  (Who even says this?)
  • Christian's "long fingers" are mentioned
  • "My subconscious."
  • someone gasps  (no seriously you will be amazed by how often this happens)
  • absurd product placement (cars, tea, computers, etc. mentioned in excessive brand detail)
  • Ana "flushes" or "blushes"
  • Grey's pants hang "in that way"
  • gift-giving disproportionate to the relationship
  • unnecessary lists of three (one adjective or metaphor is more than sufficient most of the time, E.L. James)
  • Ana refers to her roommate by her full name, Katherine Kavanagh, rather than simply "Kate."
Two Drinks:
  • Ana is painfully ignorant to the point that you have to forcefully suspend your disbelief
  • "Inner goddess"
  • "Laters, ____."
  • Grey does something so pretentious/ridiculous you have to stop reading to laugh. 
  • You are actively offended.
  • Unnecessary ellipse ("…")
  • Someone refers to sex as "doing it."
  • Someone refers to a part of the anatomy ambiguously as "…there." 
Round for the Whole House:
  • A sexual act feels non-consensual to you. 

Monday, July 28, 2014

Rachel Reads Fifty Shades of Grey Masterpost

As most of my facebook and tumblr friends know, I have been cataloging my reactions to reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  I've decided to go ahead and collect all of those reactions and dump them here.

Day 1: "This book is fifty shades of fucked up is what it is."

Day 2:  They have now fucked and called it making love. I feel extremely uncomfortable.

Day 3:  
part I: Main character reveals that in spite of having attended university for four years, she does not have regular access to the internet or a computer of her own.
I frantically flip through previous reading to determine what year this is set in. Thought it was 2010s.
part II:  I have read "The Contract." I have also vomited in my mouth at least 4x.
part III:  page 151—concept of a "safeword" is finally introduced.  It is not confirmed before the shortly following sex scene occurs.
Day 4:  p. 169—Ana is finally appalled by something, anything, that Christian Grey has done.

Day 5:
 part I:  "I will watch the movie on the sole condition that it is done Lizzie McGuire style with little cartoon characters voicing Ana's 'inner goddess' and subconscious."
part II: The rape-y, non-consensual aspect of this book is starting to really show itself.  Ana has stated several times that she is not comfortable with certain things (I won't specify what because I promised to try to keep these posts PG-13), and Grey has insisted on doing them anyway, insisting that she will like it.  I suspect this will only get worse over time.
Advice to both men and women: Insisting your partner participate in a sexual act because you "just know he/she will like it," is not acceptable. If you really want to try something with your partner that they are not comfortable with, DISCUSS IT. TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE COMFORTABLE TRYING. Perhaps they will be willing to try it later on, but if and when they are, let THEM tell YOU they are ready.

Day 6: I have created a Fifty Shades of Grey drinking game.  You are welcome.